December 9, 2011

December 9, 2011

While we were talking about the influence of grandparents in a family I was thinking about my grandparents.  I don’t really have a relationship with any of my grandparents, at least not any tight bonds.  Many comments were made about positive experiences with grandparents and I realized that I don’t know much about the positive influences that grandparents can have on their grandchildren.  I want my children to have good relationships with both my parents and my husband’s parents.  I think there are things I can do to foster those relationships.  One of them is having good relationships or at least good feelings about all four those individuals myself.  I can also encourage my children to talk to their grandparents and spend time with them. 

Also in class Brother Williams mentioned that it is important to continue flirting with your spouse throughout marriage.  I usually just think of flirting as something you do to start dating but it is something that should continue throughout courtship and marriage.  I was thinking about some of the married and engaged couples I know or have known and how I don’t see them really flirt with or show affection to each other and it makes you wonder if they like each other.  To me that should not be something that is in question regarding the person you’ve committed to spend to rest of your life and in a lot of cases, eternity with.

November 30, 2011

November 30, 2011

The video preparations for this class and the discussion highlighted the principle of respect between parents and children, not just on the part of the children to the parents but also the parent needs to show respect the child.  This should start from the time children are young.  Parents treating their children with respect when they are young can and mostly likely will foster respect in children to their parents that will come out during the critical and turbulent teenage years.  I learned this in a parenting class I’m taking right now and the connection between the two classes was insightful. 

Very often the way a child views their mom and dad will be the way they view God.  I had never really thought of that before, but it makes a lot of sense.  That being said, it is critical for parents then to model good and loving behavior, and as closely as possible emulate our Heavenly Father.  We’re not perfect and that is okay, but we need to strive to develop those God-like attributes through the Atonement so our children have a healthy view of their Heavenly Father and can build a relationship with Him.  This development of attributes and skills begins long before one ever becomes a parent. 

November 14, 2011

November 14, 2011

What are the dangers of sarcasm?  In sarcasm there is always a victim.  It is easy when joking or playing to say things that aren’t really true but highlight some aspect of a person that can really sting, even if they don’t let it show that it stings.  Sarcasm has a tendency of being so general rather than directly pointing something out.  This just leaves more room for imagination which is not always a good thing.  It can make the individual and others present question things about that individual that can be harmful as opposed to highlighting specific things, preferably in a constructive way and safe environment which tells the individual things about them they can change instead of generalizing.  Sarcasm is belittling.  It can be difficult to tell when someone is being serious or sarcastic and everyone uses different forms which can make it even more difficult to tell the difference.  This makes it hard to trust people. 

Sarcasm can be a potential problem in dating.  I don’t know that I think it is always a problem, but I think it can be.  It is common way that young people, especially young people of the opposite sex interact with each other.  The biggest problem I have noticed with sarcasm is when it is mean.  Granted we don’t always know which things will come across as mean as different things mean different things to different people, but if you feel mean or you sense that the other person might feel like the comments are too much then I think changes need to be made.  Especially as dating occurs and families start to be formed belittling and putting down are not things you want to have in your home. 

This is something I struggle with.  I don’t want these to become problems in my marriage and I don’t want things like this to exist between my children.  So what is the balance between being playful and being mean and how do you find it?  I’m still working on that.

November 7, 2011

Crisis plays an oftens times difficult yet vital role in a family.  With it there is always a danger and an opportunity.  If handled well it can do much to bless and strengthen a family and bring them closer together.  This takes place when the family members turn to each other and to God in their times of difficulty.  However, sometimes during a crisis one or more family members will turn to drugs, pornography, or other harmful sources that only succeed in pulling the family further apart and bringing along more crisis.  The effects of a crisis is all in how individuals choose to respond to it.

October 31, 2011

We spent this class period talking about sexual intamacy in marriage.  I found it interesting all of the ways that men and women are not just different sexually but opposite.  When looking at this it almost doesn't make sense, but God created us that way for a reason, and it works, or it can if the couple is sensitive to one another and to the Spirit.  In recognizing the differences there will be many opportunities for give and take and for sacrifice and blessing. God does know us and He knew what He was doing when He created us.

October 25, 2011

Does the type of wedding you have set the tone for your marriage?  In terms of whether the wedding is a temple wedding or a civil wedding I think it makes big difference, a temple wedding is, in my opinion the best way to start a marriage.  However, in terms of what kind of reception you have I don't think that matters as much.  More important than what is planned for the reception is how it is planned.  The things that will set the tone for a marriage are making sure that both individuals needs and wants are met and conflicts and disagreements are effectively solved and worked through.  These are things that will come up in marriage again and again so being able to deal with them effectively in the begining is critical.

October 10, 2011

In class we were talking about gender differences.  Before class we watched a video about this in which many people were trying to eliminate the differences in gender.  There were some very passionate feminist rights ladies who were adamate that differences in gender weaken women. 
I thought learning about biological differences in men and women was interesting and enlightening, not degrading.  Differencess exist and we would be better of to embrace them then to fight them.  Different doesn't have to mean bad, in fact different, especially when talking about men and women often means complimentary.
I found it interesting that the qualities men and women typically posses tie in fairly closely with the roles men and women play in the family.  I think our Heavenly Father is very wise and created us the way He did for a reason.

October 7, 2011

In class we an analogy was used to illistrate how stress effects family members.  5 or 6 people came to the frount of the romm and stood in a circle holding hands.  Brother Williams then added stress to one member of that circle by pulling on them.  What happened with this was each person in the circle felt that stress and had to make adjustments in order for the circle to continue functioning.  This is the same way stress effects families.  When one person is experiencing changes, or dealing with stress, etc. that effects not just that person, and even just another person who may be close to that person, but it effects member of the family in some way.  We are all intricately connected to each other.

September 26, 2011- Family Systems Theory

I like the idea of subsets within the family.  I think unity is so important, whether it is within the family, within an appartment, a ward, a class, etc. etc.  The whole idea of unity within a certain group is that the unity within a small a group will then be extended out to create unity to the bigger group it is a part of.  This is how I view the concept of subsets in a family.  Each subset works together to create the family as a whole and make it what it is.  For example, in my family I identified several different subsets.  Just a few of them are the subset of my two parents, the two sister subset, the brother subset, the sibling subset, the boy subset consisting of the two boys and my dad, the girls subset, my sister and I and my mom, etc. etc. etc.  Within my family of 6 I identified over 15 subsets.  As we become unified with each other on different levels our whole family become unified.  

September 19, 2011

One of the things that stood out to me in class this day was the idea of having children; not the idea itself of course, but a certain aspect of it.  A reference to a quote from Brigham Young was brought up mentioning the thought that if we, members of the church of Jesus Christ who have the capasity to create good homes, don't bring children into them Brigham Young poses the question, "where do they go?"  He further suggests that if we don't choose to have them into our homes they will go to homes that are not good, or in fact to homes that are wicked.  That is kind of a heavy thought to me.  The Lord wants us to have children and to provide an environment that is safe, full of love and teaches the gospel of Jesus Christ.